‘Alaya has kept her career disconnected from me in every way.’
‘She wanted to achieve success by herself without any help or interference.’
IMAGE: Pooja Bedi with daughter Alaya F. Photograph: Kind courtesy Alaya F/Instagram
Pooja Bedi is a starkly different mother to her actress-influencer daughter Alaya F.
Unlike other star mothers in filmdom, she neither demands mosambi juice on the sets nor is she ruthlessly ambitious for her daughter.
Pooja’s life is not an extension of her daughter’s.
Pooja talks about finding the sweet spot: The balance where she can be a loving mom and let her daughter develop wings and fly.
She tells Rediff Senior Contributor Dinesh Raheja, “Parenting isn’t about control. It’s about empowering your child to live their fullest life, and if staying separately is what she seeks for personal growth, I fully support it.”
From being a star to a star mother, what is your take on this shifting dynamic?
I’ve played all three roles: Star kid, star and now star mom.
I remember my mom (danseuse Protima Bedi) telling me how people would whisper ‘Pooja Bedi’s mom’ as she walked by, and how proud it made her feel. I know now what she meant as the same happens to me.
It’s so utterly exciting that my child has made a wonderful and positive mark on people. They come up to me in droves excitedly talking about her talent, her grounded nature and her incredible fitness videos on Instagram.
Who attracts more attention when you two go out together today?
We get recognised equally but I only get paparazzied when I’m with her at restaurants or the airport. It’s obviously the younger generation that attracts more media eyeballs.
Photograph: Kind courtesy Alaya F/Instagram
You give your star daughter a high degree of independence. Since when did Alaya live separately?
Alaya is an ultra loving, caring and family oriented girl, but she loves her space and independence. She moved out three years ago at the age of 24.
Parenting isn’t about control, it’s about empowering your child to live their fullest life. If staying separately is what she seeks for personal growth, I support it.
My doors are always open, and so are hers. Home is where the heart is.
You pointedly distance yourself from Alaya’s career. Does it come easily or do you have to force yourself not to butt into Alaya’s professional life?
It’s not me, Alaya has kept her career disconnected from me in every way.
She wanted to achieve success by herself without any help or interference.
I have never been invited to her sets, or advertising shoots or professional events. I only see her full movie at premiere time.
She’s highly focussed, uber disciplined, obsessive about her routines and wants none of the nepotism angle. She’s a self-made girl.
IMAGE: Pooja Bedi with mother Protima Bedi and daughter Alaya F. Photograph: Kind courtesy Alaya F/Instagram
Did you ever bring Alaya to work?
I have always involved my kids in my career.
I used to bring them to the sets of my talk show, my dance show, Bigg Boss, and even flew them to South Africa for the finale of Fear Factor.
Are you mirroring how your mother Protima Bedi related to your life and career?
Yes, in a sense, my mom and I had a similar relationship to what I share with Alaya — very loving, very supportive, very close, yet our professional journeys were our own.
My mom immersed herself in creating her dream Nrityagram and I am doing the same with my dream, Happy Soul, my holistic health and wellness venture.
How would you describe your relationship with Alaya today?
I love being a mom. We go for workouts together, dinner dates, and we spoil each other.
I will literally fly with her for one day to Goa to go kayaking and stand-up paddle boarding.
There are nights when we just chill and chat and chat some more.
She calls me ‘Yapper Mom’. And she’s a very generous, highly protective and loving sister to Omar.
Just last week, she hugged me and said I was so much fun to be with … little moments like that make my heart sing.
IMAGE: Pooja Bedi with fiancé Maneck Contractor. Photograph: Kind courtesy Pooja Bedi/Instagram
Do her father Farhan and you interact regularly about the children after the divorce or is it awkward?
I share a wonderful rapport with Farhan, his wife Laila and their son Zaan. We are family.
We meet, dine together, party together and share immense goodwill for each other.
The interest of our kids is top of the charts for us. It’s the best outcome of a divorce as kids don’t get scarred or feel incomplete.
How does Alaya relate to your fiancé Maneck Contractor?
My kids adore Maneck. They were thrilled that we got engaged but feel terrible for him as they think I’m more than just a handful to deal with.
I’m super-high energy, have a million dreams and am strong and no-nonsense but funny and goofy too.
I admit I can be overwhelming.
You were an unabashed rebel. Alaya’s much more strait-laced. How did that happen?
I think every generation from my mom to me to Alaya has got many degrees calmer, that journey is apparent.
IMAGE: Pooja Bedi with daughter Alaya and son Omar. Photograph: Kind courtesy Pooja Bedi/Instagram
Will there ever be a collaboration between the two of you?
Recently, Alaya and I did an episode on Farah Khan’s cookery show, and it was such fun.
Last year, on Mother’s Day, she did a take on Pehla Nasha (Pooja’s song from Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar) for her social media reels and made me feature in it too.
Every such moment creates unimaginably happy earthquakes in my heart chambers.
What is your advice to her on her love life?
My kids have learnt by looking at me navigate my relationships that it’s the journey that’s important, not goal posts.
It’s important to let go gracefully if things aren’t working out; gratitude and respect are key elements in a break-up.
They’ve seen me stay good friends with all my exes. Actions speak louder than words. I think it’s important for a parent to lead by example and not just be a gyaan giver.
Do you ever find yourself pestering her to find the right guy?
I can’t wait to meet the lucky man who will one day enter her life and sweep her off her grounded feet.
I still can’t believe she is now as old as I was when I gave birth to her.
