‘When I was shooting Aashiqui, I would hear comments like “Yeh toh bahut lambi hai. Heroine nahin dikhti hai”.’
‘But Aashiqui became such a big hit, and you know how the industry is.’
‘You have success, then you have everything.’
Photograph: Kind courtesy Anu Aggarwal/Instagram
Anu Aggarwal has always been an enigma.
From lip-syncing to popular Aashiqui songs to enacting unconventional roles to disappearing from films, the actress has made brave, individualistic, choices.
Courage is also what Anu exhibited after a life-threatening car accident.
Instead of upending her life, adversity encouraged her to travel further on the path towards self-discovery.
“International Creative Management, one of the largest talent management agencies in Los Angeles, wanted to take me on. But that is also the time I wanted to take a break. I had started meditating. What more can you give me which my country hasn’t already given?”, Anu tells Dinesh Raheja.
How do you look back on your smash hit debut Aashiqui (1990)?
Aashiqui made me a star, and it showed me the stars.
A transformation happened in me, and I was grateful.
I had interviewed you in your Khal-Naaikaa days in 1993, and I recall you liking my headline: ‘Cat Among The Pigeons’.
The headline made me smile, and then it made me think. Your interview and your perspective of me was so on the mark.
I’ll give you an analogy why. I once wrote about how I’m walking on the bank of a river alone when everyone else is huddled in groups trying to swim inside the river (the mainstream).
You were definitely unique. That helped you generate a brief but memorable film career.
I was clear about what I wanted to do.
After the success of Aashiqui, I got hundreds of offers.
I refused so many films because they wanted me to play the romantic Aashiqui girl. Instead, I worked with directors who gave me some great roles. I wanted to play different roles as an actor.
Mani Ratnam saw me as an underworld queen for his Thiruda Thiruda.
Sawan Kumar Tak offered me the title role in Khal-Naaikaa.
In King Uncle, Rakesh Roshan gave me the role of a Goan girl, Fanny, which was different from any other role that I played.
IMAGE: Anu Aggarwal and Rahul Roy in Aashiqui.
Did you gel with a commercial director like Sawan Kumar Tak?
He used to stand up every time I entered the set. I was humbled by how much respect Sawan Kumar would give me.
Why didn’t you work with Mahesh Bhatt after Aashiqui?
Mahesh probably didn’t have a role for me, otherwise he would have come to me.
I had good working relationships with all my directors, including the late Mani Kaul with whom I did Cloud Door, which opened at the Cannes film festival.
I learnt so much from my directors.
So why did you give up acting so soon? Did you get disillusioned?
That is a question I have asked myself. My life veered towards yoga and spirituality, towards self-development.
I was getting quite disillusioned by the massive attention.
I know people will say ‘You have no business when you are that big a star to feel disillusionment.’
But for me, it was just too much.
I would come home after shooting and often sleep hungry because I was living alone and the maid hadn’t come or I didn’t have a maid. I was in my 20s and didn’t know how to hire people nor did I have the time. Being alone and handling the housekeeping was difficult for me.
Moreover, I had already worked with the best directors.
After Cannes, I wanted to take a break and just rest.
I even refused a Hollywood offer.
In 1996, International Creative Management, one of the largest talent management agencies in Los Angeles, wanted to take me on. I was excited and thought I may join them. But that is also the time I wanted to take a break.
I had started meditating.
I thought, what more can you give me which my country hasn’t already given?
I was tired, I wanted to take some time off. I thought, do I really want to get into this right now?
So I decided to go for a sabbatical. I didn’t think it would last so long.
Photograph: Kind courtesy Anu Aggarwal/Instagram
How did you get into yoga?
My uncle took me to a lecture at the JJ School of Arts.
I heard Guruji’s lecture on yoga and was hypnotised.
I enrolled as a student and filled the form without mentioning I’m a movie star.
I was chosen, and in 1997, I went for a course to the Bihar School of Yoga.
We had 40 students from 20 different countries, and I was among the top two students.
What fascinated you about yoga enough to make you forsake your film career?
I thought I would do this four-month course and maybe return to acting.
But yoga just got me.
I loved exploring its depth.
Then I got into Karm Yoga.
I wanted to know more about the Vedas, about Tantra.
People don’t know that I have a very strong academic side to me.
I was okay with a simple lifestyle — living out of a bag and sharing the room with someone.
I was in Munger (Bihar). I was not in Mumbai, I had locked my house and gone.
So the impression that you veered towards spiritualism only after your life-threatening accident isn’t true?
I did Vipassana in 1991 just after Aashiqui. I’ve been a Vipassana meditator ever since and that has really channelised my mind.
Then, from 1997, I was living in the Bihar School of Yoga. I became a Karma Yogi, studying the depth of yoga, and living that Yogic lifestyle.
Photograph: Kind courtesy Anu Aggarwal/Instagram
Which year did you have the car accident?
I had the accident in 1999. I had come back to sell my house.
Guruji said you should take sanyas, you are made for helping people.
You know what a bad accident I went through. The doctor said, ‘She will die.’
All the doctors had given up on me.
They say that even an accident happens for a purpose.
Absolutely. It took me to the next level. I don’t see my accident as a bad thing.
The accident was a blessing.
I’m writing a book on that, so you’ll read about it.
One of the reasons I have gotten well and am here is because I have so much to give to the people who have given me so much.
I had been on a spiritual path and abandoned everything. I even shaved my head in 2001. For four years, I shaved my head every 10 days.
I lived a humble life without any belongings, without any expectations… just learning what I can do for society.
Which is why my foundation was formed. I’ve been speaking around the world, and our focus is mental health. Yoga says that diseases are psychosomatic. It all starts in the mind. You calm your mind, you save yourself.
Now, it’s also time for me to spend some time acting because it can go together with my work.
Photograph: Kind courtesy Anu Aggarwal/Instagram
You are taking another leap of faith.
Acting and being a glamour figure, whether I like it or not, is a part of my karma.
It is time that I embrace the industry that has brought me where I am today. To give back. Also, I love to act.
Are you confident the film industry will accept you back with open arms?
The industry has never accepted me.
When I was shooting Aashiqui, I would hear comments like, ‘Yeh toh bahut lambi hai. Heroine nahin dikhti hai. Models acting nahin kar paate. And then they would say: ‘Rang dekho. Kaisa makeup karti hai.’
But Aashiqui became such a big hit, and you know how the industry is. You have success, then you have everything.
Do you miss the high of that period — the fame and the parties?
I’ve been to the biggest party with the top actors in Los Angeles in 1995. I left it.
For me, the party is inside now.
I can sit at home and meditate and there’s no bigger party than that.
