Living Apart Together (LAT) is a rising trend among people committed to or married to each other, primarily in the West. Rather than sharing a home, these couples live in separate houses and schedule days to meet each other. They follow similar routines and even share a family, but while residing in different houses. But why so?
Well, according to Loran and Maurice, a LAT couple who live in different houses 20 minutes apart from each other, the unique arrangement allows them to live life on their own terms rather than feeling smothered by their partner.
In a recent interview with the New York Post, the couple shared that they had been married for five years and recently opted to reside 20 minutes away from each other. Rather than being with each other 24/7, they share quality time during the weekends. “We each live in our own apartments. At night, we call one another on FaceTime, watch a show together, read the Bible and fall asleep on the phone,” shared Loran, who is also a LAT influencer.
“It doesn’t mean we’re divorcing, we’re seeing other people or that we don’t love each other. Living apart helps us grow as individuals and as a couple,” she insisted.
Why the Living Apart Together (LAT) trend?
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Independence and autonomy have been rising values among individuals in 2025. Whether committed or married, people want to live their lives according to their own whims rather than joint routines. This is why recently, various similar trends such as sleep divorce or bathroom divorce have also seen a rise in practice. While in a sleep divorce, couples usually sleep in separate beds or rooms, in a bathroom divorce, they each have their own bathroom.
The Living Apart Together trend takes it a step further by separating the residences. According to the data from the US Census Bureau, 3.9 million Americans are living apart from their spouses.
Upholding your life preferences
Pepper Schwartz, a sociologist and relationship expert, shared that the unique arrangement can lead to healthier and happier marriages. “You may be willing to bend your life in some ways for them, but not in every way,” said Schwartz, who herself has been living 45 minutes away from her husband of 21 years. While she fulfils her wish of an abode in the mountainous region of Seattle, her husband relaxes in a pad near the Pacific Ocean.
The mountains or beaches preference that you usually have to combine into one, and live together? Well, Schwartz and her husband chose the one they wanted.
Distance makes the heart grow fonder
According to relationship coach Jennifer Hurvitz, “Absence can make the heart grow fonder. We get together every week and there’s always such a spark between us. It’s awesome because we’ve missed each other,” said Hurvitz who along with her husband are GenX divorcees and have been together for 8 years.
LAT trend celebrity-approved?
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Yes, it seems many in Hollywood have been swept up by the LAT wave. Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk and Sheryl Lee Ralph and Vincent Hughes have all been abiding by the living apart together setup.
Sheryl Lee Ralph has been married to Pennsylvania state Senator Vincent Hughes for 20 years, during which they have been following the LAT trend. The couple lives on opposite coasts and meets every two weeks. “He has his own real career. I have my own real career. When I go to see him, love to see him. When it’s time to leave, ‘Bye-bye, see you soon.’ Life is good!” said the actress to PEOPLE.
Couples practising the Living Apart Together trend share many reasons for doing so. From independence in daily routine, housing preferences, intimacy and emotions and even careers.