I’m participating in the #AtoZ April Blogging Challenge 2025 and this will be my third year of joining the vibrant community that loves this one-of-a-kind creative challenge.
This year, my theme is—BOOKS THAT CHANGED MY LIFE—which means they are not just my favourite books, but they’ve also left a deep and lasting impact on me and continue to do so until this day. I’m also blogging on my other blog—’TheSkyGirlMusings‘—and my theme there is THE A TO Z OF SELF CARE. Do check it out and follow me there, if you are new to it. If you leave your blog link, I’ll be happy to follow you back too. 🙂
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times –
by Pema Chödrön
There are books we read and forget, and then there are books that become part of our lives—they become our companions and our sources of strength. When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön is one of those rare treasures that came into my life at a particularly difficult chapter of my life—a time when everything was apparently in turmoil and I felt wrecked—emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually.
In a world that all too often demands grit, certainty and strength, this book gave me permission to be vulnerable, to sit with discomfort, and to embrace the pain rather than run from it. It changed the way I came to see suffering and has had a profound impact on how I live today.
Pema Chödrön, the author, is an American Buddhist nun in the Tibetan tradition, whose teachings, rooted in Buddhist philosophy is accessible to anyone, regardless of faith or background. What makes When Things Fall Apart so powerful is not that it promises a quick fix or an escape from pain—in fact, it does the opposite. It teaches us to lean into the chaos, the fear, and the uncertainty, and find presence and compassion there. Her words bring us a sense of relief and challenge, and we realise that we don’t always need to have it all together.
The book is structured as a collection of short, meditative chapters, each one exploring a different theme: groundlessness, fear, compassion, impermanence, and more. Pema draws heavily on her own experiences and on traditional Buddhist teachings, but what makes her voice so comforting is the sheer honesty—she speaks with warmth, humility, and a raw authenticity, admitting her own struggles and failures along the way and that seems so reassuring to the reader.
Her teachings are closer to conversations we have with someone who truly understands and that is why her books stand out for me as a unique voice, that does not speak from the pedestal but from the heart— of someone who has been there and seen it all!
One of the most transformative concepts I encountered in the book was the idea of shenpa, which Chödrön describes as the moment of being hooked—when something triggers us, and we instinctively react with fear, anger, or anxiety. Recognizing my own shenpa moments helped me begin to pause and make space for new responses. Instead of spiraling into self-criticism or trying to fix everything immediately, I’ve learned to sit still and observe the discomfort without judgment. This minor shift in perspective has given me a quiet inner strength and stability that has made a tremendous impact on my life today.
Another idea that deeply resonated with me was her teaching on “groundlessness.” For much of my life, we all seek certainty and control—whether in relationships, career, or health. When those things fell apart, it can feel terrifying. Here again, Pema reframes this unsettling sensation as an opportunity for awakening. In her words:
“Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation, can that which is indestructible in us be found.”
It’s a powerful reminder that growth doesn’t come from holding on—it comes from letting go.
Reading When Things Fall Apart helped me shift my relationship with pain. I used to think that the goal of healing was to get rid of pain, to return to a state of happiness or “normal.” But Pema invites us to see pain as a teacher. By staying with our suffering, without clinging or avoiding, we develop compassion—first for ourselves, and then for others. This idea allowed me to meet myself with kindness, even in my darkest moments. It helped me to stop labeling my emotions as good or bad, and instead just learn to be with them.
When things Fall Apart is not a book you read once and put away—it’s a book that you live with. And every time the School of Hard Knocks pulls you into a storm, this book continues to be the lighthouse, reminding you that falling apart isn’t the end—it’s often the beginning of something deeper and more honest.
To sum up—When Things Fall Apart has been nothing short of a lifeline for me. It has changed the way I face life now, the way I deal with adversity, or treat myself, and the way I engage with others. This book is more like a friend that I will turn to, again and again, each time discovering more clarity, more peace and more acceptance.
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If you’d like to read the rest of my A to Z posts written for the #AtoZAprilChallenge2025, then please click here to read on.